I hate exams. I have that now. Its like a disease. A week is still left. Wish for a fairy tale to happen. Maybe I can dream of one. Thats all I can do. There will be no fairy tales in my life.
angelnutcase from 2011

Happily Jobless and Answering Queries

So it’s February and the month of love. But would you believe that I realised this only when I saw an ad on TV the other day? What am I? 19 or 90?! But then Valentine’s Day doesn’t seem as fanciful as before. Maybe because it became boring and people don’t have time to care for it. Whatever!

We got a week holiday as our hostel was under quarantine for Chicken Pox. It was so good. I mean back home, lazing around, sleeping to my heart’s content, watching TV and happily jobless. That is when my dad got this into his head that I am better off not inside home. So one fine day he wakes me up from my deep sleep at an untimely hour of 8 o’clock. He shook me out of my sleep and asked me to get ready quickly. I grabbed the nearest dress and got out. My situation is pretty much like other girls. I stare at the closet full of clothes and think I don’t have anything to wear. But I think I am different in one way. After this musing I put on the dress I wear every other day and my other dresses stare in dismay. I finally walk out in a way that you would call devil may care. I soon find myself at Taj Residency. My dad signed me up for some two day convention and I immediately regretted not having worn something better. I mean looking around there were men in suits and women with make up on and they would have easily taken me for some vagabond. Nevertheless they let me in against my fears of them doing the contrary. So my Dad registered me for a conference so that I won’t sleep from home. Now I can sleep in a centralised air conditioned room not so badly decorated. :P

Apparently I was the only law student in there. The rest were from management schools, engineering colleges, medical students, CEOs etc. They were discussing something I believe to be nation building. Yeah in two days sitting in the best possible place in the city they are going to build the nation. I didn’t talk much just so that I am not asked any questions. Seeing me lonely and devouring the coffee and staring at my half eaten biscuits that tasted of corn flakes and wondering whether this place doesn’t have any decent food people started talking to me.

Now to categorise the most common questions I got.

First: Are you from NIT?

I don’t know why this is their favourite question but believe me 4 out of 5 people asked me the same. Maybe I looked like I could be from NIT. Whatever!

Second: What?

Well this question is the response after I finally explain to them that am a Law student and telling them the name of my college.  Pretty much people haven’t heard of my college. I cannot blame them. I mean I wouldn’t if I had taken some other branch I guess. What then to tell of people who think the world is just filled with engineers and doctors and the rest are from another planet. My college got a huge name and I use the acronym and it is hard to expand it without taking much time and so I try to tell it under one breath it gets weird.

Well the same happened to me too. Someone told me he was from IGS. I was like what myself. He told me it was International graduation school. I heard it as International Grinding School. I blurted out loud, “What? You have a school for grinding?”. I mean it is possible. Maybe there is too. But am just ignorant you know. Bear with me. Well he obviously rectified the same.

Third : Why law?

Ok now this is like the most frequently encountered question in my entire life. Nobody has asked me anything else as much as this. And though I expect it I have never really formulated a satisfactory answer. In school when people ask you your ambition and you say law you get that question, after taking law you get it from everyone you meet and talk to, even in college while introducing yourself it is like the hot question you have no escape but to answer. And it is funny all the answers I get from my peers. I think everyone is in the same dilemma. Choosing something is not as easy as a one word answer, is it? You have your own clear and substantive reasons. But they don’t expect an explanation nor do they have the time for it.

I mean how many times does an engineer or doctor get asked why they took up that profession? Not much other than from people who are psycho analysing your character by investigating your thought and choice making process and deducing your capability for the profession I guess.

But then I feel the question makes me feel unique. I mean I can tell those ignorant people about the scope of law and it also feels like I am fervently clarifying my own decision and each time I get a new reason to have made the right decision.

Fourth: What do you intend to do after taking law?

Now I am only in my first year and I don’t plan five years ahead. The scope of law is so huge that I can go to any field of my choice. Ok now I tell you my present decision and you are one of those kinds of people who remember everything I will probably have to answer you why I changed my decision if I ever did so. We will both give time take its toll and see what I finally take up!

Now less frequently asked questions. By this I mean I just got one question of this sort. And that was if I was working. Now that made me both beam and surprised at the same time. Most people ask me if am in school as I am too small for my age. Now someone does consider me as a person who might be working. That is some improvement! Or maybe it was just another kind of conversation starters as the rest of them!

The convention got over. It was actually good. And the rest of my holidays I slept from my own room.

P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day !

Sunday

Awoke to find myself alive at 9 30 in the morning...
No I  was not kidnapped and toxicated...
I was sleeping in a peaceful bliss in my hostel room...the rate at which I am sleeping for the past two days makes me wonder if I will ever wake up to another...
Its cold here nowadays...I know its winter and all but climate doesnt get so cold in this part of the world...
Ok its not that cold..maybe not cold at all...but for us  its cold enough to use a thin sheet while sleeping..
It never snows here...I have not even seen snow in real life that I feel I am missing something..
How nice would it be if it snowed here...but it simply wouldn't...all the year round its pretty much sunny with a little rain for a change...
but then again its not a dessert and we don't have sand dunes or sand storms...
We live in a tropical climate...for those in the cold countries it may seem as paradise..just how snow is for me I guess...but for me its boring...seasons have to make their presence felt, right?
Now enough about seasons you would think...but you know what?...am bored....its a sunday...very sunny....and lazy...hostel is so quiet...city is miles away..
our campus is basically in what we call a forest...we maybe the only creatures here...not exactly..there are other people too...you get reminded of a village from Malgudi Days....a bridge and a junction with a shady tree and grassy land looking out at the nearby wilderness with random cows and a pond....reminds me of a place for panchayat if you know what I mean..
To get out of this place is like going on an adventure..first its the wait for a bus which never comes..even if it does it just leaves you half way on your journey..we pass through acres of grassy land...then grassy land again...a small river...a railway station where only goods trains stop....and at each stop some people who you cannot imagine from where they came from when all you can see around is unhabitated land...
Another thing about this place is that the population density is inclined to babies and old people...Whenever I board a bus and if by luck I get a decent place to sit within moments I have to get up to make room for a wailing baby or a stooping shrunken old lady...
By the time I reach the city it would take almost an hour and I would have been exhausted that all I want in life would be to get back to hostel and lie on my bed...But thinking of the journey back I would have happily slept on the foot path...
And I have no idea what to do today...
Can you suggest me what to do?...as in something fun?
waiting for your reply...:)

The Kid's Section

I don’t know what is wrong with my part of the country, but whichever clothes store you go to you find clothes in XXL size and sometimes by some mistake in L size too. Now don’t think that people here are ALL large framed. Actually its quite the opposite. Majority is in small or extra small or even in XXS size. Then why this XXL? I have serious doubt whether its some government proposal to improve health by making people grow to fit the size of the clothes.

To the tragedy of a small framed girl, I rarely come across clothes my size. Wandering among rails of too large clothes with obvious unhappiness on my face thinking of my fate and resolving to grow fat as soon as possible I reach the kid’s section. To add to my depression sometimes even the clothes meant for 13 year olds do not fit me.

No wonder these clothes do not sell out, I thought. You know grapes are sore at times.:P

The sales girl was eyeing me. Maybe my embarrassment written in capitals across my face and looking around to make sure no one I know is there made her think, huh maybe, am a kid’s clothes mafia or something!

So quite out of place I tell her I need clothes for my 10 year old niece. I finally find a jacket which is my ultimate perfect fit.Well, the kid elements to it, huh, I will have to do my special tearing off tailoring from home. Unable to contain my huge urge to try it on I blurted out with my best puppy face, “Can I try it on?”.

But the puppy face didn’t work. Perhaps cause she is also a girl and knows the trick very well. What more, she had this gleam in her eyes as if she just investigated a forensic case single handedly!

Smug, in this case her though!

Decidedly and determinately with all the power in her authority she let out a big, stern NO.

My bad, what else, I spontaneously asked, “Why not?”.

She said that the jacket was meant for kids and that I may stretch it and damage it. How rude!

I don’t exactly know who between us was louder but people started stopping by. I smiled at them. You know the ‘I can handle it on my own, thankyou’ smile, thinking that they will go away but they didn’t.

“But it will fit me”, I said.

“No, it won’t”, she retorted.

She started to snatch it back from me. I got furious and I declared to my audience “I am buying it” with a ‘Ha-ha, you can’t stop me now’ look at the salesgirl. Triumphantly I bought it and walked out with that feeling. You know the feeling as if you just conquered the world!:P

Smug? Yes!! This time me!

And guess what? It was a perfect fit!:D

Why Laptop,Why??

I always loved kids. I am only 19 but many times during my past lifespan I have felt like adopting a kid.

I mean I have adopted people as my sisters and brothers and stuff. But somehow after the phase of adoption the relationship somehow grows tense. I have never figured out why yet. Well that certainly didn’t stop me from adopting people. Only thing I have a lot of adopted sisters and brothers who don’t even talk to me now!

But then I never thought I would find a son in my laptop. Nope I didn’t do internet adopting or anything.(I don’t even know if such a thing exists!) I mean the moment I saw him (my laptop) my heart grew out to him. He was like a baby, an infant, who kind of always needs me and cannot adjust with anybody else. I am almost always convinced that he is sick. When he takes longer than usual to boot or suddenly blacks out my heart misses a beat. And am so damn finicky about him. Only now did I realise my parent’s favourite punch line “You will know the heart of a parent only when you be a parent.” How true!

Like most parents I can’t help comparing my laptop to other laptops and get worried if he doesn’t perform the same way as them. I know it’s not right and I should accept him the way he is. But you know a mother’s heart who wants her baby to be perfect. Sigh!

And am paranoid about leaving my baby in the hands of the service centre people. I mean they could be careless, they can treat my baby badly and I won’t be there to rescue him. After all who cares about the good of the neighbour’s kid?

I avoid them like anything. I will him to be fine when he decides that he got a cold. For his protection from malicious hands I carry him wherever I go. I am not only his parent but his body guard, his guardian and his playmate. An ideal parent, am I not?

The Lost Earring

Returning to my college hostel after the 10 day spring break I shifted from wearing my usual gold stud to a small silver earring. It was a simple but pretty piece of ornament.(No, not the one you see above. I downloaded that picture from the internet.) Though it had oxidized a bit here and there I still loved it. And not been much of an ornament wearer it was the only pair I owned. Two or three days later while sitting and chatting with my batch mates in the front veranda, one of my friends noticed that I was wearing only one earring. As you can imagine my hand instantly went to my ear lobes and felt the disappointing absence of my right earring.Frowning to myself I quickly went back to my room carefully scanning the path as I went. I searched my bed, tried sweeping the floor, looked into drawers, cupboards, bags and even inside my tea cup but to no avail. So I removed my other earring and for the next week went about earring less till the second Saturday when I went back home. My mother started the usual talks. You know the one you pretend you are oblivious to. She went on about my carelessness, her fear of even imagining my future, the value of that earring etc while I went on flicking the channels on the television. Anyways I came back to hostel with my usual gold stud and was careful to tighten its screw every now and then. After some months while rummaging inside my clothes case I saw a glint of light in between the clothes. And it was my lost earring! (Smug and Happy!!) Feeling triumphant and thinking about my mother's wasted speech I quickly called her and complacently declared the good news. After she hung up I had this immense urge to try it on. And then I realized I couldn't remember where I had kept the other earring. During the confusion of losing one earring I had carelessly placed the other one somewhere. Here we go again, I thought. 

JEALOUSY

So this is my first post in my blog. And if you even bothered to read the title you would know the very reason why am writing this. Yes, it is just pure jealousy. Jealous of all those bloggers out there who write so well.

Hey Blogger, better stop posting such awesome posts. I will get so jealous that you will find no way out.

As any jealous soul I would call your post crap. But then forgive me cause you know am just jealous. Had there been a cure for jealousy, trust me,  you wouldn’t have even come across this blog. But now that you are here, call it fate and get ready to be jinxed.

So now you already know am just a poor little jealous girl who is here by accident. And the rest about me you will get to know from my next posts. Huh so this is my first blog and what am I going to write? Clueless. True I started this but then going further is hard. The blogger’s block? Perhaps!